I saw no evidence of paper-towel patterns. When I learned that celebrity stylist Karla Welch launched her own brand of period underwear called Period Company, the first thing I thought was, Finally, my ass can afford a stylist! Then I played around on its site and saw a high-waisted pair that really just looked like cute high-waisted briefs. A lot of it looks even more awkward because it has bizarre paper-towel patterns. While the gentleman’s feedback wasn’t solicited or correct, it also wasn’t wrong: Period underwear, like the tampons and pads it is meant to replace, can be bulky. I was feeling very good that day, having washed my hair and produced a live human from my body just weeks prior, so his comment took me down a peg. I was never really dying to give period underwear another go after that. I wore period underwear for a bit after I gave birth, until one day when a kindly gentleman informed me I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. This underwear is not to be confused with actual period underwear, which is made specifically to be worn during your period in lieu of a tampon or pad. All women have their good underwear, just as we all have some shameful, thinning, ripped-up underwear tucked away for our periods.

I have ruined my best jeans, my best vintage sundress, a couch (it was mine), sheets, and my good underwear. Mine comes every 28 days, but somehow, always when I least expect it. If you haven’t guessed, I want to talk about periods. (Can we fix this? No one is carrying change.) I actually had an incident care of one: It was at Six Flags Magic Mountain, in the late ’90s, after a water ride, and I was in a bodysuit. Occasionally, they will have those old-fashioned vending machines with pads the size of a toddler’s diaper. You know those pre-COVID times when a stranger would hand you a tampon or a wad of toilet paper under the stall door? Women’s bathrooms are a sacred space where we stop judging, hand each other tissues, compliment one another, and cry. It’s been so long since we ladies have been able to share intimate bathroom moments, I am sort of craving them. The author in her Period Company underwear.

Hot girl wedgie games